batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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