you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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