Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.

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(281): View more from Texas

He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.

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(301): View more from Maryland

and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit

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(817): View more from Texas

Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(405): View more from Oklahoma

Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.

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(813): View more from Florida

that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.

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(765): View more from Indiana

He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.

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