I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.