Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys