Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...

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  (610): Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick... http://tfl.nu/36kw
  Replies (67) Good night (5375) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you

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  (559): you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you http://tfl.nu/hdb5
  Replies (17) Good night (899) Bad night (3924)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.

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  (813): Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive. http://tfl.nu/ya8a
  Replies (13) Good night (649) Bad night (3286) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.

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  (704): Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten. http://tfl.nu/097z
  Replies (35) Good night (429) Bad night (4724)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....

  (614): View more from Ohio

  We've got ourselves a situation

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  (614): Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and.... (614): We've got ourselves a situation http://tfl.nu/efwe
  Replies (51) Good night (7056) Bad night (645)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.

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  (281): I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve. http://tfl.nu/asc9
  Replies (6) Good night (6556) Bad night (984) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.

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  (218): I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care. http://tfl.nu/yew2
  Replies (12) Good night (982) Bad night (4693) Order T-Shirt
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  (883): View more from

  I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet

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  (883): I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet http://tfl.nu/tmsx
  Replies (7) Good night (2937) Bad night (1096) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool

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  (817): Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool http://tfl.nu/oo5b
  Replies (5) Good night (939) Bad night (2442) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.

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  (405): Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door. http://tfl.nu/5l3p
  Replies (5) Good night (2765) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it

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  (516): That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it http://tfl.nu/ocmo
  Replies (13) Good night (1534) Bad night (3059) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over

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  (732): the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over http://tfl.nu/4t6t
  Replies (8) Good night (3064) Bad night (508) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.

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  (812): You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed. http://tfl.nu/qkrz
  Replies (3) Good night (603) Bad night (1941)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.

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  (979): He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon. http://tfl.nu/z7tj
  Replies (10) Good night (707) Bad night (1966) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.

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  (206): I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python. http://tfl.nu/mdf6
  Replies (5) Good night (852) Bad night (416) Order T-Shirt

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