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• (213): View more from California

  I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

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• (727): View more from Florida

  josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.

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• (619): View more from California

  She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  .....a litte

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.

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