thus making me awesome and them whores
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.