but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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