Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...

  (703): View more from Virginia

  oh

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  (248): So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine... (703): oh http://tfl.nu/2rig
  Replies (10) Good night (938) Bad night (3266)
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  (530): View more from California

  I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.

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  (530): I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame. http://tfl.nu/96nu
  Replies (45) Good night (767) Bad night (2600)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet

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  (918): eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet http://tfl.nu/8959
  Replies (7) Good night (661) Bad night (4102)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic

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  (706): Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic http://tfl.nu/himg
  Replies (20) Good night (5087) Bad night (1121)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...

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  (215): yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway... http://tfl.nu/qwxo
  Replies (53) Good night (12441) Bad night (1540)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?

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  (608): Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother? http://tfl.nu/8hut
  Replies (8) Good night (4150) Bad night (1239)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can

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  (408): we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can http://tfl.nu/prvy
  Replies (6) Good night (976) Bad night (5179)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?

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  (512): I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die? http://tfl.nu/tzmv
  Replies (6) Good night (673) Bad night (1641)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being

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  (603): dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being http://tfl.nu/4klh
  Replies (1) Good night (1002) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.

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  (281): I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that. http://tfl.nu/d3y7
  Replies (7) Good night (625) Bad night (1445)
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  (415): View more from California

  I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.

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  (415): I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history. http://tfl.nu/x6ei
  Replies (13) Good night (853) Bad night (1704)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control

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  (541): the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control http://tfl.nu/apyu
  Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.

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  (713): I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure. http://tfl.nu/7i22
  Replies (5) Good night (311) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.

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  (903): The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it. http://tfl.nu/qrrf
  Replies (1) Good night (685) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking

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  (253): I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking http://tfl.nu/g33f
  Replies (0) Good night (389) Bad night (211)

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