Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself

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(760): View more from California

Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.

(1-513): View more from Ohio

She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.

(513): View more from Ohio

She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.

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(301): View more from Maryland

why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(201): View more from New Jersey

Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.

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(575): View more from New Mexico

I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.

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(757): View more from Virginia

It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night

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(574): View more from Indiana

Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow

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