yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
