): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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