Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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