I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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