I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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