Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(613): View more from Ontario

I want to stick my p in your. b.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.

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(914): View more from New York

apparently the secret to your success is patron

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(248): View more from Michigan

They have a pepper shaker for pot.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!

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(914): View more from New York

Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.

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