dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
