He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
