i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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