what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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