I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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