i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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