It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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