Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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