my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
