You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
