he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
