How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
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thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
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These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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