after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
