K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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