My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
