Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
