Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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