3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
