how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
