he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
