alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
