Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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