Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
