We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
