if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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