i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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