I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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