Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
