I need help removing her.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
