Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Text me some of your sweat
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
