I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
did i walk over a car last night?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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