I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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