I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
