were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
