Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
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Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
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I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize