Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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