Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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