be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
