You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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