i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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