I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
