i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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