capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
