If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
