Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
