found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
