Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
