Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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