dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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