omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
