Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize