My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
