I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
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Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
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I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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