Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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