I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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