Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
