your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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