You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
