even my farts smell like vagina
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
